Articles in English

Nights in Monaco – a novel by Natasha Alina Culea – the beginning


Graphics: Ștefan Baltă

© Natașa Alina Culea

Any reproduction, in whole or in part, of this work, without the written consent of the author, is strictly prohibited and is punishable under the copyright law.

Dreams are like women;

They want to be chased, conquered;

They will be yours if you fantasize about them.

Her birth name was Nicoleta Dragomirescu. It was to her mother’s surprise to see she was a girl, the only one, by then, she had sons only. She was a small, weak child, with a shiner face, salami-colored when screaming for milk with both her lungs. She was the third child and her mother, Aurelia Dragomirescu, already had the experience of raising a child, but also the carelessness that comes after the second born. The woman had worked at the Daciana factory, the only woman there who knew how to shape metal and use the lathe as she used the rolling pin in the kitchen, with skill and speed. All that was left after she was done working were molded pipes and a bunch of small colored springs which she brought home to children. These turnings were about their only toys. Of course, there were also clay pies, which the little one ate, the mulberry tree leaves as tickets, when they were playing train travel, sticks and stones in the household. Were these, not so feminine skills awakening her man’s admiration? Grigore had better things to think about, even though, thinking wasn’t his favorite activity but the use of his hardworking man sinewy arms, those arms that had known the scythe and the ax and the bony body of his wife. Five children appeared following this acquaintance, arranged one after the other like eggs in a carton.

Was this a happy family? Under such circumstances, this kind of question is never asked or thought-out, much less spoken out loud in front of others. It can be said that there was good peace under that roof, yes, that can be said. Except for the day Grigore was paid, of course. That’s when he’d come home late, fried and short on money, sometimes on his feet, sometimes almost dragged by a little bit more sober colleague. Good luck keeping it together! Aurelia was making a hell of a scene and she was talking for 3 hours continuously, she, who was barely speaking at work. All the dissatisfaction she felt in a human’s life spilled over to the half-fainted man, who interrupted her, from time to time, either peacefully either to sparkle up the fight, depending on the circumstances. If he had drunk țuică[1] or had combined his drinks, he would have become more worked up than his wife’s turnings; if somebody had treated him with beer, then he would’ve been livelier, more joyous, more understanding. He was hearing the woman’s accusations; they were going inside one ear and were coming out the other, without leaving traces in his big-child honest soul. He even approved her at times:

“Leave me alone, Aurelia… I got a headache anyway. You’re right, if you are, you… I drank.”

“I had enough of you! Why do you spend money on liquor, huh?! If it wasn’t for me, you were sleeping in ditches, and you would’ve died by the dam like Andronache! Aren’t you embarrassed of yourself coming home like a pig?”

…and she keeps on going and going…

Otherwise, the day was day, the night was night, the soup was soup, and the children were growing by themselves, like green branches. Aurelia was cooking for them, so good you could lick your fingertips, only onion stews with polenta, sarmale[2] with bay leaves, and for holiday, vegetables soups and puddings, because that’s what she learned from her mother and she didn’t even think about diversifying the menu. When life’s hard, you don’t have this type of thoughts which are likely to confuse you than to help you in any way.

Their house was made of mud walls, if, God forbid, an earthquake had come, it could’ve been to the ground in seconds, bury them all in it, like a pyramid – after all, how long those straws glued with water, clay and horse feces can hold? When it was raining outside, it rained also in the house. Thus, a plastic bucket was brought for the water which was dripping from a crack, which was branching on the coarse uneven painted ceiling. If the whole in the ceiling was a bit bigger, maybe she could’ve showered under it, smearing herself with a bar of lye made of pork fat by Aurelia herself.

Plink, plink, plink… Nicoleta was fascinated by the bucket.

“Why are you standing there, looking so dumb? Go get the little one, can’t you see he peed on himself again?” her mother yelled, wiping her sweat of her forehead.

She had flour up to her elbows, an askew kerchief on her head… she baked some pies. A few grey streams were peaking under the kerchief.

Nicoleta would go; she’d do it in disgust. Who would volunteer to change a diaper full of fresh and steamy thingy, wrapped around the baby? He may be a cute baby, but what he does, not really. The mini Tutankhamun was annoying to the girl, he was too often left on her shoulders. The girl would walk away from her mother, mumbling: “It’s like I had him! Why do I always have to take care of him, mister?”

“You, shut your mouth also!” She scolded the poor little shitty scrap with lungs of a tenor.

This is how verbal and physical aggressivity worked in the Dragomirescu home. If Aurelia hit Nicoleta, in turn, she would hit the next, more vulnerable member of the family. Harmony and justice. That’s right, noise was an ordinary thing in their house. You needed a strong temper or carelessness to deal with it. The fourth boy, Dorin, had just became fondly of carpentry, pulling and smashing drawers with an insatiable enthusiasm, pausing only to chew on a slice of bread with jam which was dripping directly on him and thereafter on the non-sense colored carpets.

Nicoleta liked school; she didn’t have learning at heart, but she loved her teacher, a blonde with fluffy curly hair, widowed, with no children, who nostalgically admired other’s children. Her older brothers, Ionuț and Florin were already teenagers, but they didn’t go to school with her, because they were rarely passing its threshold. They were playing football till dark, when coming home with untouched textbooks. They were lucky, Aurelia didn’t use to attend the school meetings, because she didn’t always have the money for the class fund, but also because she was tired of being scolded for the boys’ doings. They were left in the lurch and they were aware of it so, they continued skipping school and playing on the plot.

Nicoleta was happy when it was raining outside. The persistent showers filled up all the pits on their street, leveling it and leaving it shiny clean. Nicoleta was jumping in all the puddles, especially in the big one in front of her gate, where the water reached above her knees; she sat happy in its midst, feeling like at the seaside, though she had never seen the sea in her life; actually, she had never been anywhere outside the village. She was splashing water all around. She was happy. Her habit had brought feet pain therefore, she had a starting rheumatism, which was partly due to the cold water, partly because of the inappropriate footwear, always too small or too large, worn longer than normal.

She was going to school wearing the same ankle sports shoes even in winter, some cracked plastic sneakers with gray strings. She wasn’t cold nor feeling the frost because of the long way she had to walk to school, in the neighboring village. She would arrive there all hot, with scarlet cheeks because of the effort and the blizzard, with a delicious shade of baked cherry on her cheeks.

On her way back home, she had to bring food to Grigore’s work. Even on Saturdays, because her father worked overtime, for some extra money. He worked about 2 miles away from the house that was moaning under the burden of their children and their noise. Aurelia was filling him a jar of soup or stew, put it in a pouch and the girl was carrying it all the way to her father. Although Nicoleta was glad to leave the house, on any occasion, the dogs in the factory’s yard were pretty uncomfortable. They were giving her serious headaches, being hungry and mad, they were determined not to let the man-cub enter the perimeter they were in control of. If she was lucky to be seen by her father as she was hobbling in, dragging that pouch behind her, he would have chased the dogs away; at other times she was getting help from the big, round bookkeeper who spent her day in a room attached to the main hall, making quotations and signing them with so much zest, as if she was signing international treaties at the White House.

Every year, Nicoleta was hoping that her folks will give her money to go on a camp. Although this had never happened, she kept asking them year after year with the same determination, her eyes twinkling with hope. She was preparing her emotional speech a few days before, making sure to mention every child who was going to go. Sometimes her parents were gently refusing after a “we’ll see by then”, other times with a “you know we have no money, why do you keep busting our chops?” Nicoleta only gave up the day she saw the kids gathered in front of the bus, with their luggage ready. Only then she understood she wasn’t going to join their adventure. She was mourning for three reasons: first, she wasn’t going to join the fun, the second, they all knew she has no dime and the third, those who were going were exempt from school hours for a week. Tough luck. Like all the kids, Nicoleta believed in miracles until the very last moment, but they were late in appearing. She was left behind in the school yard, together with Mihaela and two other boys, a rag-arse gipsy and another one who was always failing classes – he was a ruler at failing classes, could only be said. Nicoleta was watching the bus until it was out of her visual range. She was well aware of her not thriving and fruitless situation and this made some days feel lonelier than others. She was telling herself that she was the most unhappy little girl on the face of the earth or even in the universe.

One day she quietly entered the classroom and saw Mihaela hurrying to a loaf of bread left under another colleague’s desk, believing there was no one else there. Nicoleta was ashamed that she was part of such an intimate and desperate moment. She silently left the classroom, just as she had entered.

Mihaela is even more unfortunate than I am… she thought, having tears in her eyes. She was feeling her heart being squeezed like a little bug in the hand of a mean kid. Nobody should have to steal because of hunger, nobody!

The next day, Nicoleta bought a pack of biscuits and, when they were all out on lunch break, she nicely placed the biscuits in Mihaela’s colorful, doodled school bag. That day Nicoleta had nothing to eat, but she saw her class mate nibbling on those biscuits and she felt like heaven came down on earth and kissed her forehead. Perhaps it did. She tried to be friends with her, but failed. The girl had no interest in making friends. Mihaela was getting poor grades at school and probably, was having a very hard life at home. She was only interested in handball. She was the best in the class, in the village, and maybe in the country for her age category. Handball was the only thing Mihaela had, and it was wise not to stand in the way of her ball, if so, there would be hell to pay. To stand in the way of the only thing that matters in one’s life, one who has nothing, has never been a wise choice. Nicoleta wasn’t thinking everything through but she could feel it in her gut. She was leaving food in her desk every day except those days when she pushed her away to get the ball first in gym class. She was bringing grapes or apples from her garden when she had no biscuits. Mihaela was eating everything, like an ant, leaving a discrete pile of grape seeds or crumbs arranged like an anthill, under the desk. Nicoleta gave up wanting someone’s friendship, comforting herself with the remaining biscuits.

On a beautiful Saturday in early April, Nicoleta stayed home with her two younger brothers. The rest of the family had gone to the funeral – a great occasion of happiness – where the food was free and the drinks as well. Here’s to more deaths in the village of Văleni! Several dozen heads had gathered at the funeral, because, the dear departed Ionel, the head of the boozer, was a popular and appreciated man by all his drinking friends, including ours Grigore Dragomirescu. God forbid if he was ever giving away any companion when the wife came to carry the unfortunate home, and asking Ionel how much money he spent on drinks.

“It’s all on the guys…” he was replaying sweet, but promptly, to all the ladies. Ionel wasn’t speaking any words now; he was laying still, a little dead, but very stiff in his beach wood box, having a mine of late dignity among the wreaths of carnations and daisies braided with ribbons. He had died at the age of 52. He would have lived long and well but drinking had shrunk his liver twisted by his hard-to-accept habits, and the rinds and greaves he swallowed throughout his life had settled along and around his arteries, clogged up like pipes before the plumber’s arrival. His wife, who hadn’t heard of cholesterol in her entire life, had always cooked him pork meatballs fried in lard, spicy sausages with ham chunks, plump sarmale[3] swimming in oil, and other such suicides.

[1] A traditional Romanian drink that contains between 24–65% alcohol by volume (usually 40–55%), prepared from plums, generally.

[2] Traditional Romanian stuffed cabbage rolls.

[3]Traditional Romanian stuffed cabbage rolls.

Mulțumiri pentru traducere, Simina!

Natasa Alina Culea, Romanian Author
Articles in English

The beginning of MARAT (a novel by Natasha Alina Culea)


Isn’t it amazing that my first trip abroad is to China? That far-off land, with winged dragons, large rice fields and wind chimes, that land I often dreamed of, as a child, my imagination giving birth to nomadic desires. In my mind, China smells of jasmine tea served in delicate porcelain cups and has the color of the red silk road; it is a country of contrasts, where civilization and tradition intertwine, in a song too subtle for the ears of the Europeans; its incredible progress resembles pure alchemy; the speed with which China adapts to modern times overwhelms us, and yet it is the same country where the  rickshaw is pulled by one man carrying another, the same country where families have 3 members or less, the only child, as dictated by law, the one who does not know the meaning of brother, nor sister, being either a solitary child, or having the whole world as its family – hard to tell…

   I see China as being drowned in the present, but feeding on a past that does not pass.

These are my thoughts on that evening of December 5, 2000, holding the ticket of certainty in my hand, a blue ticket, winged with the Tarom logo. I am exalted at the thought that tomorrow I will sip my coffee in China; animated by the natural enthusiasm of my just turned twenty-two years, I reflect near the packed luggage. It seems like I have everything I could desire, I tell myself and I recap: a relationship of about two years with a handsome young man who loves me – Denis Dumitru by his full name -, a comfortable and relaxing life, I’m young and I’m about to head out to China! I also have a collection of CDs from the 60’s-70’s, a dressing room packed with clothes and shoes, a dog, which, theoretically, is more Denis’s than mine, a crystal globe, where it snows if you give it a good giggle, a library with old books, bought from fairs, which I love with all my heart and… a wooden spoon, with strawberries painted on it, which my grandmother gave me, before leaving and never coming back.

   But am I what I have? Am I happy or do I just think I am? There was no cloud on my sky, undisturbed by world`s turmoil; there is nothing missing from the peaceful happiness landscape in which I live. What else is there to find in this world that I hold in my hands?

Enough about me, let’s talk about Denis, my boyfriend, a practical and organized young man, dedicated to tangible things, a guy who does not let himself be dragged into sentimental outbursts, these being my exclusive concern. Denis has an innate sense of measure, doubled by common sense, acquired through the severe education given by his parents. Denis always knows what he wants, and two years ago he told me he wanted me, and I was happy because I never imagined a better partner. He is now twenty-six, four years older than me, though his seriousness makes him seem more mature than he is. Denis may at times seem a bit demanding in his expectations, in general, but to me he shows a great deal of indulgence. Over time I tested his patience, like those times when I was taking money from home and going out to buy something for dinner, coming back with a poetry book or a painting that inspired me at the time.

  “Food for the soul, Denis!” I used to tell him and jump in his arms, thus avoiding being lectured for my ignorance.

   Denis manages various businesses inherited from his parents, including a chain of clothing stores, and, for the first time, sends me to China instead of going himself, to supply the stores with new merchandise, especially as December is a very productive month, and what he had bought was quickly selling out. Anyone working in the field of trade knows that this is the most prosperous time of the year. Of course, this trip is not very creative, because I have the route already set by Denis. I took note of the places where I need to go, the people I need to contact, the phone numbers I will need and so on. In conclusion, I have everything planned in advance. The plane ride will go directly to Beijing and will take about nine and a half hours. Once there, I will stay at Jing Lun hotel, where I have a room booked, and I will get in touch with Mr. Li Hua Chen, also known to the Romanians as Max, so it’s a bit easier to pronounce and remember. Like when you’re an artist and you get a stage name, even though Mr. Li is not an artist, at least not from the information in my notes. I check my agenda again, taking my responsibility of a blonde Bucharest-Beijing and Beijing-Bucharest emissary very seriously.

  “Did you memorize everything I told you?” Denis asks me. He seems a little worried. “Anyway, if you have any questions, call me on Luana’s phone, as I still haven’t been able to understand what’s wrong with your roaming service.”

   I hug Denis instead of nodding, still holding the agenda with black covers.

   “It’s time to go, right? I can’t wait to get on the plane, Denis! I will miss you so much!” I exclaim and open the door to the cold outside, which immediately whips our faces.

   We both leave the house, and Rex, noticing the agitation going on, jumps with its big paws on my white coat.

  “Rex, sit, Rex!” I shout at the dog who refuses to get down. Although well trained, he still does not accept directions other than the ones given by its big heart, as he weighs a lot for his size, I worry. “Denis, I think you should start running through the park with Rex, isn’t he a bit chubby?” I ask him without actually waiting for an answer.

  “Alina, let’s get in the car!” laughs Denis. “We’ll talk about Rex’s increased cholesterol when you come back.” We both laugh and Denis gets behind the wheel, while I sit on the right seat, which is slowly starting to warm up. I never liked leather seats, they are freezing during winter and too hot in summer. Yes, this is what I do whenever I have a task to fulfill; this trip had blocked me, so I clung to all the useless details like Rex’s weight, the buttons on my white coat which I now count for the first time, the texture of the car seats, even the weather in Guatemala, although I don’t intend to go there. Some people that are faced with a concrete fact mobilize quickly and become efficient; not me though, on the contrary, I spread my attention in all directions with great care. I am super excited, like a bow that has little more to burst from its most vulnerable spot. I can’t wait to take off. With all the thoughts going on in my head, I do not focus on the journey itself, but on the emotion of the important event about to happen in my life…


A novel by Natasha Alina Culea

The novel can be bought on:

Barnes & Noble

Apple Books



Articles in English

The writer plays God

You see, the world is not enough satisfying for a writer. The world doesn’t fit the writer, the world’s design is for him like a straitjacket. The writer is a human, at least physically he looks like all other humans, but he is unsatisfied, gaunt and silent. He creates a world of his own, one to reflect all of him. He is getting rid of this world as a serpent gets rid of his skin. Between the covers of the book he plays God and molds humans of paper. And he is punishing them or creating them wings, as he considers. Some he kills with bare hands, not because they were bad people, but because they did bad things, and he leaves others to die by themselves. And then the writer realizes that revenge doesn’t exist, and that death is not a penalty, or if it is, is the same for everybody. Did God feel that way in the beginning of everything? Did the creation, the world, the water, the muse, the island, the sunrise, the stones came out of discontent? Out of an unbearable loneliness? God created the human and the horse. They were both free. The human created the whip and stole the freedom of the horse. Because he felt unbearably alone.


Arlechinul, Articles in English, Cărți scrise

Excerpt. The begining of my 6th novel „The Harlequin”

Wide open windows to the sky

The gloomy November morning gathered a flock of crows on the little patch of burnt grass, settled in the Primăverii neighborhood. The buildings, still moist after a light, but persisting rain, like multicolored pieces of Lego, merged unexpectedly, rise defiantly on the tongue of the street.

The windows begin to light up one after the other, illuminated in hues of dirty yellow and silver; with curtains, with blinds, others are just bare windows inviting you to discover their loose privacy.

With a step forward and one backward, always between yesterday and tomorrow, we live in a question without answer: does the night end or the morning begin? And if it is a day when we can change everything, why don’t we see it, although our eyes are wide open?

Bucharest wakes up. The arteries of the city gradually begin to be crossed by cars with drivers who are searching for something, half asleep. Their automatic gestures reveal the monotony in which they bath like in a warm muddy puddle, like a drop of water in the fractured asphalt, sometimes dreaming of being a drop of ocean.

Every man tells two stories: one to himself, and one to the others. Most of the time, these two stories do not bare resemblance to one another. Most of the time, we wake up and wish we were in another story.

This is how the story of The Harlequin, yet untold, begins…

Book Launch: The Harlequin, Natasha Alina Culea (author)